In an unexpected revelation that’s sure to send shockwaves through the political world, a group of retired professors from Howard University have come forward to share what can only be described as a truly bizarre chapter in the history of the school: Vice President Kamala Harris, they claim, was their “worst student ever.”
Yes, you read that right. Kamala Harris, the woman currently a heartbeat away from the presidency and poised to potentially lead the free world, was apparently not just a bad student but the worst to ever grace the halls of Howard University. And these professors are not holding back.
“It was like teaching a cat to play chess,” said Professor Emeritus Gerald Barnes, who still shakes his head whenever he recalls Harris’s time in his Introduction to Political Science class. “Kamala had this strange way of answering questions. If I asked her what the Constitution was, she’d smile that famous smile of hers and say, ‘The Constitution is a living document… full of potential, just like all of us.’ I mean, what does that even mean?”
According to Barnes, Harris was notorious for her ability to speak at length without actually saying anything. “I’d ask her a simple question about the three branches of government, and by the end of her answer, we’d somehow be talking about jazz music and the importance of self-expression. I still don’t know how she did it.”
Professor Meredith Johnston, who taught Harris in her Constitutional Law class, agreed. “Kamala was the queen of answering a question with a question. I’d ask her to define judicial review, and she’d reply, ‘But professor, shouldn’t we first ask ourselves, what is justice?’ It was maddening. And when I’d press her for a straight answer, she’d just laugh that signature laugh and say, ‘Come on, professor, don’t be so serious!’”
One of the most baffling aspects of Harris’s academic career, according to her former professors, was her remarkable ability to dodge any real engagement with the material. “I once asked her to write a paper on the separation of powers,” said Professor Franklin Davis, now retired but still haunted by the experience. “She turned in 12 pages on why power itself is an illusion, quoting Gandhi, Bob Dylan, and, for some reason, Kermit the Frog. I still don’t understand what I was supposed to take away from that.”
Davis recalls how he tried to give Harris a chance to explain herself. “I called her into my office to discuss the paper, and instead of explaining her thesis, she spent 45 minutes talking about how much she admired strong women in history—before asking if we could switch the topic to ‘the role of women in the founding of the Constitution.’ I mean, I appreciated her enthusiasm, but the girl just couldn’t stay on track!”
Perhaps the most legendary story comes from Harris’s time in her debate class, where she was supposed to argue for or against a proposed bill. Professor Judith Walters, who ran the course for 30 years, says she will never forget what happened when it was Kamala’s turn to take the stage.
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